Why Less Is More

So you're planning your child's curriculum, and you've got all the basics: Math and Science and Grammar and Writing. You looked at what the laws require and if it's more than the above you have that all planned out too. You've got ideas for religious studies/Bible, you know you want your child to study Spelling and Handwriting, Literature is a MUST, and you want both a Health course and P.E. - they're different you know! 

You're looking into an immersive World Language program, you've joined a co-op which has the kids memorize and recite as a big part of it, and you have an extensive list of all the online and local offerings for tumbling, ballet, jazz, tap, piano, violin, art, and martial arts to choose from. You have a College Plan started and have bought access to a whole computer program just for keeping track of grades and transcripts. 

You've moved the table into the kitchen and turned the dining room into a classroom. You have 49 posters and charts on the wall (in as many different colors) teaching everything from weather (and appropriate clothing for each) to multiplication to the periodic table of elements. You have a "Family Goals Wall" and you bought desks from IKEA. Your whiteboard/blackboard is so big it would make a public school teacher green with envy. 

There's a schedule on the wall next to the clock that lists an exact time for every change, including bathroom breaks and meals, from 8am to at least 3pm. 

Maybe you even have a class pet or pet plant, a preschool table with built in crayon caddy and a colorful ABC rug, a science center with a microscope, and an educational listening center with audiobooks and classical music. 

Oh and perhaps your oldest child is 3 years old. 

...

None of those things I listed are bad things, themselves, but if you think you need all of them or even a lot of them, you need to take a step back and CALM DOWN. This is not a Pinterest Party, this isn't a contest, it's not a race. And it's most especially NOT public school. 

Trying to replicate public school at home actually negates most of the benefits of homeschooling. 

You can't force a kid to qualify for MENSA by loading them with electives, extracurriculars, and flash card drills. Maybe your child is already gifted... you're thinking that I don't know about gifted kids and that you believe they really truly need ALL this. You would be wrong on both counts. Maybe your child struggles with a learning disability or special needs and you think they need ALL this stuff to stay on track and that I don't know anything about that either. You'd be wrong again. I'm a second generation homeschool mama of 6 kids ages (almost) 4 to (almost) 14. When I was a kid I once stared at a wall for 8 hours making stories in my head and when I realized it was dark out I realized I hadn't done any school yet that day and my mom was not happy. Another time I read a 20 page chapter of a science textbook and couldn't recall one single word by the end. I couldn't spell until I was in 7th or 8th grade. When my firstborn was 13 months old she spoke in 2-word sentences, at 2 she asked me to teach her to read, and when I still hadn't by the time she was 3 she invented an entire phonetic alphabet of glyphs and wrote a story and several letters with them, then she decided she needed to teach me her alphabet so I could read the story and the letters she'd written me. One of my kids has trouble focusing to learn from anything on paper, but you place an engineering challenge in front of him and he's got it solved before he even knows how. Those are a few of many stories of atypical abilities and learning function levels displayed in myself and my children. Trust me, I hear you, I feel your stress. I still believe that in most cases, less is more. 

Have you ever tried to put balls away into a bucket or basket? And when you push "just one more" into the last crevice, all the balls just sort of POP out like popcorn and go all over the place. Then you have to start all over again from scratch. But if you fill the bucket reasonably, the balls stay in and you can even carry the bucket around without spilling them. This applies no matter how well-suited to ball-carrying that bucket is: if you over-fill it some of the balls will fall out all over the place.  

Do you remember "cramming?" Like for a test? For a while you just immerse yourself into test prep and try to temp-memorize as much as you can for that big test on Monday. You cram and cram and cram until your brain is numb, and then you take the test and then what? You forget almost all of it by the following week. How much of what you crammed do you remember today? It was too much all at once and when the pressure to cram for the NEXT test came, you purged some of it, didn't you? To make room for the next cram session. Looking back, was this the best way to truly LEARN or merely the best way to PASS the test? 

What about when your mom would tell you something interesting and low-pressure like, "Uncle Jack bought a motorcycle." Or maybe, "Tonight's carrots are from our garden from the seeds you helped me plant." You would remember those things because you wanted to tell your friend about them. What if Mom said, "After supper I need you to sweep under the table before I let you have a popsicle on the deck." You'd probably remember that too. What if Mom said, "After supper please sweep under the table, clean out your backpack, load the dishwasher, walk the dog, do your homework, and sort your dirty laundry. Don't forget you have a science project due Thursday and you should phone Grandma and wish her happy birthday before it gets too late. I'm going over to Aunt Kate's for an hour and when I get back I expect you to have it all done. If you do a good job I'll let you take a popsicle out to eat on the deck." Popsicle or no popsicle, how much more likely is it that you're going to forget a bunch of stuff on that list because there was just too much on it? If this routine continues for 3 days, how likely is it that on day 4 you remember that if you sweep under the table you can have a popsicle for dessert, vs. if you do >insert long list without forgetting anything< you can have a popsicle for dessert? When your kids ask you 20 years down the road, "Did you have to do any chores when you were my age?" which scenario is more likely to bring total recall? Or a bad memory... 

Now think about your goals for homeschooling. Do you want an atmosphere of temporary cramming or one of lifelong learning? Children were designed to learn through play. What happens if you take a creature which is literally built to learn through play, and convert all or most of their play time into hours in which they have charts and worksheets and memorization and recitation and drills drills drills? This will negatively affect focus, memory, engagement, and both mental and physical health. Is it more important that they can multiply at 5 years old or that they are healthy and happy and can observe in nature worms in mud and birds in nests and caterpillars into butterflies? 

Have you heard of being snow-blind? That's when there's bright snow on everything so your eyes can only see white and can't make out the shapes that would tell you what's under it. You can only see the brightness and it's like being blind and lost and what you are looking at is devoid of meaning. When you put 472 charts on the wall in bright primary colors, you're making your child 'snow-blind' to the charts. There are too many of them and they blur together and mean nothing. In the case of a child with attention deficit or one easily overstimulated/with sensory issues, you're literally SCRAMBLING their brains with all that wall stuff! How can they be expected to focus on their lessons with that many "look at me!" colored charts all over the place! Charts can be GREAT but try this: decide a small number of charts to have, 1-3 at a time perhaps. Start with 1 chart. Introduce it, the purpose, how it will be used. Go over it daily. A month later add another, or replace the first one. Or if your student is old enough to have a binder, either put the charts in the binder for reference after you're done having them on the wall, OR keep the charts in the binder from the beginning INSTEAD of having them on the wall, small 1-page versions, and go over them at a specific time of day so that they can be put away for the rest of the day where they're not distracting or disorienting. 

Here's my suggestion. Write down the required subjects, legally, for your locale. Then for the rest of the possibilities of classes and studies, TRY to cross off as many as possible. Don't think of it as depriving your child of tumbling: think of it as FREEing them. You're giving them more time on the trampoline. Don't think of it as depriving them of the memorization co-op, think of it as freeing them up to observe science outdoors with their own eyes. You're not depriving them of P.E., you're giving them the gift of more time for climbing trees. 

What if your kiddo is UNDER the age of compulsory attendance? (Which is around 7 in most US states- obvs. check your local laws.) Just let them play! Unless they are asking you "teach me this," just let them learn life skills alongside you and play play play. Don't start school with a little one just because you CAN, actually have a reason based on their showing of desire and readiness for it before you sit them down with a lesson in mind. Once they start formal education, they have to keep progressing every year. They can never go back to when they were little and free, when play was their whole job and their life-school. So let them have it while they are little, before it's gone! It's a gift we often overlook the preciousness of. 

Older students are less interested in climbing and running around outdoors, but you and they will know far better by then what their long-term interests are, what they might need or want to take with them into their adult lives. It's not too late to start Karate and Piano lessons at 13, or 30. Think about it: Kids who start training for a career path at 2-6 years old aren't able to wisely choose what suits them best. It's their caregiver choosing for them, it's not their choice, though they might think it is. They haven't had enough time to play and explore and live, the basis on which they can decide what they find interesting enough to pursue. So don't base your little ones' educational plans on what they might be like as a teenager. Don't plan a life on nervous what-ifs, especially not someone else's life. 

It's popular now to say we should let teens do stupid things, fail, make mistakes, engage in risky behavior, because once they're legal age they'll need to sober up and be adults. I disagree. First of all even adults fail and make mistakes. Second, they should be horsing around at age 5 and at least starting to try not to do stupid risky things anymore by age 15. Are teens behaving more and more immaturely these days because their play time is taken away earlier and earlier when they are toddlers, I wonder? I'd prefer my child act the fool at 5 than 15, if they must. And they'll be less inclined to act a fool at all if they have proper and healthy outlets for their wildness such as digging in the dirt, climbing trees, running with the dog, building a playhouse with Dad, baking cookies with Mom... 

Less is more. 

Less is more. 

Less rigidity means more flexibility. 

Less planned subjects means more time for spontaneous teaching or learning moments. 

Less charts on the wall means more focus - and more engagement with what IS important enough to be on the wall. 

The less like public school it is, the more homeschool-unique advantages there are to enjoy. 

Less seatwork means more exercise. 

Less forced memorization means more time to make memories. 

I'm not saying to avoid desks, school rooms, charts, lessons, memorization, etc.! I'm saying don't overload your kid. Less is more. Even the gifted child will get overwhelmed with a crammed schedule and their clever little brain will decide to shut down for a while and take a break from the scheduling. Just like if you click too many keys on your computer at once it will protest and freeze up. Less at a time, less pressure = better results. 

Less is more, fellow homeschool mamas. It really is. 

P.S. Check out this pinboard of what NOT to do.

Rooms that try to duplicate public school spaces at home and walls with too much color and chaos that would be great for a hype-me-up playroom but horribly distracting for a study space.