Since the whole COVID thing, I have seen so much sketchy advice on homeschooling being dished out and then swallowed hook, line, and sinker by hundreds of new homeschoolers! And by "sketchy" I mean people talking like they're seasoned experts but they've only been homeschooling a preschooler and a Kinder for 2 months. Or the "advice" they are giving is a trendy new buzzword they barely understand and this may or may not be a) applicable in the situation or b) something they can/do explain correctly. Or maybe they're doling out absolutes as if humanity was a batch of gingerbread men from the same cookie cutter.
Here are a few of the most problematic types of advice I've seen in the last few months.
1. The Blind Leading The Blind
This is where you have a bunch of fresh new homeschoolers who decide to start a business (paid or not) or social venture based on their brand new homeschooling status. Among these you have a bunch of mommy-bloggers taking to the internet to tell others how to do it, photo and video loggers showing you their perfectly arranged elaborate and mind-numbingly colorful mini-classrooms at home, and those who start making jillions of free worksheets and printable activities that they have not even tested or tried out on one single kid yet before they put them out there to the whole wide world as a legit curriculum. Now, I don't think one needs a degree in order to teach or write curriculum, especially for Primary and Elementary grades. You might be extremely knowledgeable and have no skill for conveying that knowledge to little brains, or you might be an excellent teacher who has never attended college day in your life, and frankly teaching your own kids is totally different than teaching a group or teaching someone else's kids. BUT if you're taking advice it's wise to take it from someone who is AHEAD of you on the same path. You wouldn't hire someone to make your wedding cake who started decorating cakes for the first time 3 months ago. You wouldn't even hire someone who has only ever made flat cakes to make a tiered wedding cake, no matter how long they've been doing it. Likewise if you want GOOD solid homeschooling advice, look to homeschoolers who have homeschooled BEYOND the grade you need help with (not people who are still figuring it out at the same level you are). If you're struggling to homeschool a 5th grader with ADHD then your best advice won't come from someone who is also in their first year of homeschooling a 5th grader. Your best advice would come from someone who has homeschooled the grade you're struggling with plus at least a full year longer (depending on the circumstances, to know if the solutions they came up with worked longterm), and has experience with ADHD. And don't just grab up random printable worksheets because they're free and pretty if you don't know anyone who has used them and experienced that it didn't put their kiddo BEHIND for the following year. I don't have a problem with an average mom writing a curriculum, but I do kind of have a problem with them putting it out there for the world before testing and proofreading it. Be careful where you get your materials and where you get your advice.
2. Deschool or Die
"De-schooling" is a new buzzword for an old concept, but now everyone is throwing the word around without thinking through whether it actually applies to the situation and barely understanding what it even means. It's like it's become the default "Homeschooling: Step 1" so people are telling each other to do it just because. Deschooling is deprogramming. It's de-programming them from the way it's done in a mass educational institution. The de-programming might take a day, a week, or all summer. It's a time for the child to get un-used to being told every minute what to think and when to move and what to say, and to re-learn the natural childhood curiosity and ability to play and learn naturally. Time to get to go use the restroom without raising their hand and ask any question at any time. Unfortunately I've seen so many people who are saying their kids have been out of school all summer and >insert question about homeschooling< followed by dozens and dozens of replies telling them the first thing they need to do is deschool. Uh... What was all summer then? If you don't know WHAT deschooling IS and what it's FOR then stop telling others to do it. (And as an aside, what's the point of deschooling at all if you're going to make a little replica school in your house and do it just like public school? Instead, embrace that this NOT being public school gives you SO many perks and advantages!)
3. The Unschool Cure-All
Like "deschooling," this thing called "unschooling" has taken a monopoly on the replies to I-have-a-problem questions by new homeschoolers, and the sad thing is that many of the ones suggesting unschooling as the solution have almost no experience with it (least of all the college-end results thereof) and a vast majority of those advocating unschooling have totally different definitions for it from one another. One will say unschooling is simply lessons built on the child's interests - basically DIY-as-you-go. Another will tell you unschooling means NO textbooks at all, just manipulatives and nature! Yet another will tell you that you'll need textbooks for math at least, but you should do without them for the other subjects as much as you can. Even still someone else will chime in that it's not about whether you use curriculum or not, it's more of an environment and attitude of learning. And finally someone will tell you it's none of that, it's where your child teaches themselves based on what they want to learn and you are merely the provider of resources for your child's self-teaching.
With all this confusion and so many definitions, we can't legitimately say that "unschooling" is beneficial or even that it works, since we can't even corral it down to a method. By some of those definitions I have unschooled some of my kids at times, and by others I have never done so. I suggest people define their version of it when they suggest it, as well as stating WHY they believe it will help. If I post saying, "My kid hates science. What do I do?" and people just keep saying "unschool," then how do I know if they mean to let her just learn science from playing in the yard or to let her do what she wants and I only step in to provide materials or to find more interesting science or to just teach science without textbooks... or should I write my own curriculum from scratch based on her current interest in butterflies. Ask. Tell. Unschool is a million things to a million people and far from being a cut-and-dried method/style. It would also be really great if people suggesting unschooling would take into consideration whether the asker has to fulfill laws requiring a detailed curriculum list and lesson plan for the whole school year at the beginning of it. In cases like that, any form of unschooling could be challenging, since the one thing about unschooling that seems pretty universal is that it should be flexible and adaptable to the child at any given time - but then, in my personal opinion, ALL homeschooling methods should have at least a degree of this aspect by virtue of being homeschooling at all.
4. My Way or the Highway
This would be careless advice, given by those in homeschooling freedom states to those who may be from much stricter states as though the laws of stricter states don't exist. I've seen people tell others that they don't need to file a NOI when the advising party doesn't because they live in a free state but the advisee actually does and if they don't they could get CPS called on them and their kids taken away.
This would ALSO apply to the careless advice of those from stricter states telling others (who may be from very free and unregulated states) that they HAVE TO or CAN'T do this or that thing when homeschooling. We really need to keep in mind that talking to others on the internet about homeschooling is a different thing than talking to our friend or neighbor in our home state. The laws vary widely so if we don't know, we should point people to someone who can help them find out what the laws where they live are; HSLDA for example.
This could also apply to the advice of those who believe their chosen curriculum is the best one in the world for everyone. No curriculum is the absolute best. It might well be the absolute best for YOU or for those guys over there, or for this kid here, but no single curriculum is the absolute best for every human. It's impossible. Humans aren't identical to one another and they don't learn the same way or think the same way or like the same things. This kiddo with ADD might do super great with a computer based education, and his twin with ADHD might be too ramped up and distracted by any and all screens to use any for school time. So when people ask what the "best" curriculum is, that's arbitrary. One of my kids uses a science program that is supposedly one the best, top, cream of the crop homeschool science programs out there. While she does well with it, her brother didn't do well with it and retained very little. It's just not the way he learns. But since we homeschool, every one of my 6 kids can have a totally different science program that suits the way they learn best. There is no one-size-fits-all in homeschooling. Embrace the adaptability!
5. Credentialed Know-It-All
Kind of a catch-all of aspects of the other categories; beware the advice of people who have a compulsion to answer every question about everything homeschool related as though they are at the forefront of all knowledge and research on this topic by merit of having a blog or a teaching/development degree or a special needs child or gifted child or 40,000 followers on their YouTube channel. I do not doubt they have their areas of expertise and are very helpful therein, however just because you know a lot about something or a little about a lot of things doesn't make you a guru. You might know some great methods for teaching phonics but that doesn't mean you have a default law degree and just because you have a genius 3 year old who reads doesn't mean you have the right to act like all 3 year olds would be able to read if only they were taught your way. I'm not talking gentle suggestions and "this worked for my cousin so maybe you could look into it and see if you like it," I'm meaning those people who act like they personally know all the things all the time. Beware of advice from those who can't resist not staying in their lane.
6. Never Enough
These are the folks who are always saying they "had to supplement" and insinuating you will too! Like oh we tried that one but we were done in an hour a day so it was obviously not good enough because it wasn't taking all day and therefore we HAD to add things to it. And they tell everyone else they see talking about that curriculum that it's not enough and that the users will soon see that they will *have to* supplement too. Let me just set the record straight here: Getting it done in a short amount of time is one of the perks of homeschooling and is not, by ANY stretch of the imagination, an indicator that it's less effective. In fact, I'm strongly of the opinion that in most cases, less is more. And what I said before about curriculum not working equally well for every human also applies. So maybe your child was bored and wanted more and so your supplementing wasn't at all wasted, but someone else's kiddo might be overwhelmed and something light and fast would be just the ticket. One size does not fit all and more is not default better. Don't be discouraged by anyone saying they "had to supplement" if the curriculum in question looks like a good fit to you. As them WHY they had to supplement - most of the time you'll get little more than "it wasn't enough for my kid" or "we were getting done too fast." At the risk of sounding like a broken record (do people even still know that idiom? I'm not even that old...), getting done quickly is a PERK of homeschooling and is by NO means an indicator that the curriculum is insufficient!! And your kid isn't their kid isn't his kid isn't her kid; they are all different and some (dare I say, in my opinion, MOST) kids actually RETAIN more from shorter lessons.
7. Public School Clone At Home
There are some who cling to the public school methods and preach them as if those were the measuring stick by which we are to judge our homeschools. That having a room dedicated to school is the best way. That desks are better than a table... or the floor, or the trampoline, or upside down from a tree. That P.E. is necessary (all the subjects and topics covered in public school may make it to their "must" list). That the only way to know how your child is doing in their learning is by testing them. That report cards are necessary. That whatever it is, it MUST absolutely HAS to be "accredited" or the kid is never going to get into college. That home-school must be as close as possible to an exact replica of public school because they already plan on quitting homeschool before they've even started and they don't want their child to get un-used to the public school ways.
Let me just go back through those, starting from the last, the temporary homeschooling one. You could be giving your kid an (albeit temporary) advantage, a leg-up, a head start, a booster, by taking full advantage of the many wonderful benefits of homeschooling (which include more free time, less rigidity, more personalization, a more natural learning environment, etc.), so why would you deliberately choose to tie your own hands (and your child's) behind your back and follow the methods and protocols of a system that was designed to assembly-line educate large quantities of kids as though they aren't individuals and humans? You have a chance to give your child a BETTER education for a year or a few years, don't short yourself or your child by putting your effort toward standardizing (institutionalizing) everything. Embrace the freedom: customize, don't standardize!
Next, the case for (against) accreditation: Did you know that most public schools are NOT accredited? Do you know what accreditation is? It's a standard by which a school (not a curriculum) can be scrutinized and determined to be above-standard in it's commitment to educating. You can't accredit a book because it has no goals and commitments. It's just a book. NO curriculum itself is accredited. It does not mean if your school is not accredited that it can't issue "credits" for graduation. That's something different. YOU as a homeschool parent, if you're independently homeschooling a high school child, are the one who issues the credits for graduation. It has nothing to do with whether your curriculum is "accredited" or not. Worried about transferring back to a private or public school? As far as grade school and middle school goes, whether you had your child in an "accredited" program or not, I've been told it's up to the school whether they want to take you at your word where your kid is at or have them take a test to see if they place into the grade you say they do. Each individual school board has to make that call. And as for high school, from what I'm hearing it seems that in the US high schools have the right to require your child go start to finish in high school with them. Meaning if you homeschool but want to put your 11th grader in public, you could get one of 3 possible answers and all of them hinge on the whim of your local school board more than this worshipped unicorn of "accreditation." The school can say "sure let's test her," OR "fine if you say she's in 11th she's in 11th," OR they can say "NO can do: she can start 9th and go all the way through or nothing!" <None of that should pass for legal advice. Contact HSLDA. This is just what I've heard from half a dozen US citizens in various states about their experiences putting their older child in public school or BACK into public school after homeschooling. Whichever the case may be, accreditation or the lack thereof shouldn't stop you from picking and enjoying an amazing homeschool curriculum.
Next, let's look at the reasoning behind the inventions of report cards and tests... These were tools designed FOR public schools to fill a need created by the way public schools work. You send your kids there, and they have 30 kids in a room, so the teacher can't sit with each one and know them super well and analyze exactly what their needs/gaps are every minute of every day. And they're not home all day so the parent doesn't know either. The best way to find out how each of them are doing academically and convey it to the parent is to test them and then send home a report card. Time passed and the diagnostic became the goal and now public schools teach kids how to pass the tests - the tests have become the ultimate determining factor of a child's value as a student and that mentality has spilled over into the homes of new homeschoolers because this is the only way they've ever seen it done. Think about it though; if you're the parent and your "class" is your own kids and you sit there seeing your kids' strengths and weaknesses all day every day of the week, then you KNOW where they're at, what they need, and tests/grades are irrelevant. If you WANT them for your own purposes for certain subjects (spelling tests for example) or NEED them to fulfill the laws in your state, so be it, but hopefully some local homeschoolers can eventually bring it to the attention of lawmakers (that these things are pointless for kids whose educator LIVES with them), and get that law amended/removed, leaving it up to homeschool-parent choice, as it should be.
P.E. is pointless in the same way. P.E. (not talking about a health class, talking about the one where we played dodge ball and relay races when what we really wanted was to be outside riding our bikes) was invented when public school got longer and longer, dishing out more homework and sucking up all our weekday playtime. (Yeah I went to public school for a hot minute, before my mom pulled me out, thank God!) Kids were tired from schooling constantly, getting up before dawn to ride the bus with those annoying bus bullies, and all we had was a recess we were too tired to use. To keep kids from getting more overweight and unhealthy than they already were, P.E. was developed to get the kids some exercise every day. P.E. was the band-aid for the lack of physical activity caused by... schools. If you're not duplicating the long hours and lack of physical play time of public schools in your home, then P.E. is redundant and pointless. Like grades and report cards, this is stunningly legally-required in some states despite it's unnecessarity.
And finally, the desks and classrooms. NO they are not in any way superior to your kid doing his math in the sand box or her spelling test while she's hanging upside down from a tree. If you want them, that's fine, you can do it however you want. Just keep in mind that if it's not working and you get better response from kiddo on skip-counting while jumping rope, it's okay to forsake the desk and run (jump) with it. Personally? I have a school room. I do. Shocking right? With desks even! My mom taught us at the table. Or on the floor. Or sitting on the edge of the bathtub with my book in my lap while she shaved her legs. Learning can happen anywhere. Don't think you NEED a school room or desks, because you don't. Don't worry about that Pinterest Homeschooler who wants to tell you your bookshelf next to the dining table is inferior to her 300 square foot classroom in her basement with educational posters and rugs all over the place. You're fine, it's not a race or a contest. This isn't an issue of Better Homes & Classrooms. The BEST homeschool rooms are the ones that are simple, easy to clean, and especially easy for the kids to focus on their lessons in: plenty of natural light, not too many colorful things all over the wall, a select few uncomplicated manipulatives. If your homeschool room looks like a daycare which the alphabet and the rainbow collectively barfed all over, don't be shocked if your kids have mega focus issues.
8. All Home-Learning Is Homeschooling
Some people get super offended if you say that their public k12 distance learning is not homeschooling. It is truly not. And it's not because we're snobs and we don't want to let you in the club. Far from it - homeschoolers are in general a friendly bunch who love helping newcomers get their sea-legs on the homeschooling ship. It's because the LEGAL definition of various types of home-education are different, meaning the advice that can be given in good conscience and taken with good results varies between the various headings. For example, If you buy a curriculum or rent access to an online one, the fact that you have the lease of it temporarily or OWN it permanently and YOU as the parent are the one who issues the grades and diploma and writes the transcripts means that is LEGALLY homeschooling and you will need to follow the local laws that apply to homeschooling. In my state I don't need to report anything to anyone but in some states you'll have to send in a Notice Of Intent, in others you have to have a teacher approve your curriculum choices, in some states you'll have a whole long list of hoops you must jump through as a homeschooler. However if you pay an online private school to teach your child online and THEY plan the lessons, issue the grades, write the transcripts, etc. then the laws you must follow are the laws governing attendees of Private Schools, including applicable truancy laws. And if you sign up for the free online distance learning branch of the public school, then you must follow the laws that govern Public School attendees. Broken down that means if your kiddo is doing the public distance learning and misses a Zoom class, they can legally come after you for truancy! And if your child is attending online private school classes and you don't like the grammar they're using because your kid isn't getting it and you have to re-teach it to them yourself after every single class, you can't just switch it out one day because it's not your call, it's the private school's. And if you paid for a year of an online homeschool curriculum and sent in your NOI and are lesson planning and suddenly your computer crashes, you can't demand a free computer from the government to educate your kid with. Homeschooling is defined as education controlled and facilitated by the child's guardian. If someone else is planning it, teaching it, grading it, and you don't have the option to change anything that's not working when you want or need to, then it's probably not homeschooling. If you can change curriculum, adjust assignment guidelines, and change grades any time you need to without being in legal trouble or answering to any other entity aside from your coparent, then it's probably homeschooling.
Let me know if you can think of any other kinds of bad advice I missed which homeschoolers should watch out for! I might do a part 2 somewhere down the road. :) In the meanwhile, beware of taking (or giving) these kinds of bad advice. Have a great schoolday! You've got this!
